


So

by Koyote19



Category: Gundam Wing, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Humor, Tequila, i apologize for everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 23:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2446643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koyote19/pseuds/Koyote19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Philip Coulson, Jasper Sitwell and Sally Po with a balcony view of the <strike>chaos</strike>  clash of worlds when the Avengers meet the Gundam pilots. </p>
<p>Or: Reasons why Sally Po, Phil Coulson and Jasper Sitwell think the world might end if the Gundam pilots meet the Avengers</p>
            </blockquote>





	So

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognize except the trauma. Any prominent characters missing from this fic (including Captain America) are due to their refusal to take part in this insanity.
> 
> Notes: I don't know where this came from, but it is the first thing I have written in way too long so I'm going with it for now. This is pretty much straight crack, with no spoilers for either show. It was, however, written pre-Captain American: The Winter Soldier.

“So… two of them, huh?”

“You might want to be more specific. I count way more than that still standing.”

“Two insane idiots with absolutely no respect for the laws of gravity, an unhealthy fetish for black clothing and antiquated weaponry in the same spot at the same time; this is where the world ends in a particularly large fireball, yes?” 

“Where…? Oh. Those two?” They both considered the current standoff between scythe and bow from a respectably safe distance, and shuddered in unison. “Nah… they stopped trying to kill each other a while ago. I give it another ten minutes before they are bonding over tragic stories of life in an orphanage and then on the streets.” 

“Or in the circus.”

“Only if Barton makes it across the power line in one piece. That last piece of debris came pretty close to taking out the pole on the right.”

“So…” A third watcher joined them. “When you say Barton, are you talking about the clown on the high wire or the idiot with the bow that just jumped off the roof? Again.” 

“Damnit… you just might be right about that fireball.”

***

“What are they doing?”

“Who?”

“The redhead in the catsuit—“

“-- and the guy in the biker shorts and tank top.”

“It would appear they are locked in a fight to the death. So to speak.”

“Really?” The woman leaned over the railing in confusion, only to have her companions pull her out of the way as a chunk of metal flew towards them and embedded itself in the masonry. “They’re standing on opposite sides of the room, staring at each other and twitching.”

“She’s the perfect assassin, he’s the perfect soldier… they’ve been calculating weapons and odds for about 34 minutes now. I give them another twenty minutes before they admit to the stalemate and join forces.”

“That doesn’t sound good.”

“By that time, it’s not going to matter anyway.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“Because by the time they figure it out, those three on the opposite balcony will have already taken over the world.”

There was a pause as they stopped to look at the three women in impeccable business wear seated casually around a table on the far side of the raging melee, ignoring the battle taking place below them while they focused on the tablets and starkphones in their hands and sipped at their tea. All three women suddenly smiled at the same time, and the watchers shuddered.

“Is that…?”

“The CEO of Stark Industries, Senator Peacecraft and Dorothy Catalonia, yes.”

“Maybe they’re just looking at LOLcats?”

“Do you suppose this is hell, and the world already ended?”

“You may be right. Maria Hill and Commander Une just shook hands.”

***

“So… the God of Death and the God of Thunder just walked into a bar-.”

“If they drink all the alcohol before Director Fury gets there, the God of Death is going to wish he was dead.” 

***

“So… which one do you think is richer, Winner or Stark?”

“Neither, if they don’t figure out Barton, Barton and Maxwell are cheating at poker pretty damn soon.”

***

“Where’d Banner and Stark go?”

“I heard two of those scientist guys inviting them down to the labs about fifteen minutes ago. We won’t see them for the rest of the night, probably.”

There is a pause as that information sinks in. “Which two scientist guys?”

“Uh… Jay? And the one whose name started with a G?”

“Oh. Hell.”

***

“So… Six Avengers Avenging.”

“Five Gundams Flying.”

“Four factions -”

“Wait, what? I only count SHIELD, Preventers and White Fang. What is the fourth?”

“Howard and the rest of the Sweepers just showed up with more beer.”

“Right, right. Four factions…uh. Factioning.”

“Three assassins bonding.”

“Two Bartons from a circus.”

“And a Hawk with a bow in a tree.”

“I was going to go with one Hulk sulking, since we already used Hawkeye… but whatever. More tequila?”

“Keep it coming. I can still feel my face.”


End file.
